the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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