I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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