It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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