God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
