we have pet lesbian snakes
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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