I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
my liver is dry heaving
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
