Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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