I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
