bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
