My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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