Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
