I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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