she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm getting married
To pizza
so much tequila, so little girl.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
