it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
