Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
