I can text with my tongue
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
