miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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