I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
where does the pee come out of this thing
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
