Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
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so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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