dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize