I wannas sexs uuuuu
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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