I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize