i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
