Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
where are my eyebrows?
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