p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Semen is not good for contacts.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
