I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
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He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
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I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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