We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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