id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Boobs speak an international language.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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