I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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