Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
