Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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