I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize