I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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