As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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