i may or may not be watching the land before time
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
