I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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