i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
