And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm having to shit out rocks
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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