Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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