i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
