I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
