So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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