Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
