spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
