The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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