Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Are we still banned from the library?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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