Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I want her autograph on my taint
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
