he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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