counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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