Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
