I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
