'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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