I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
