she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
