His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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