ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
