I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
