i just google imaged poop.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
