The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
