why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
