Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
