just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
