it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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