So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
