Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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