walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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